The Apprentice 2014 Episode 8 – DTSFT Roundup


Super late but I’m only a little bit sorry because I know all two of you who read this (there has been a 100% increase in the readership of these Apprentice posts) probably didn’t miss it that much.

Episode 8 took place at an agricultural fair, where the teams were tasked with picking products to sell and then selling the crap out of them – a great opportunity for us to hear from each of the candidates about how they were “born to sell” and other cheesy, worn-out catchphrases. All that fresh country air must have not agreed with Daniel, because you could see how wound up he was through the whole task, and it seemed to be catching as he and Felipe were at each other’s throats. Poor little mole.

Here’s your roundup:

Daniel, stop slicking down your hair, it makes you look awful and boulder-faced. This little glimpse of ruffled bedhead was a big improvement:

Screen Shot 2014-11-27 at 15.55.23

The candidates having to pick from the absolutely rubbish ‘debut’ items was so cringe-worthy, having to pretend to be interested in any of those products would be too much for me

 The director’s cut of the Twix advert

Screen Shot 2014-11-27 at 15.56.27

Honestly look at this utter tat, and the ridiculous prices – daylight robbery

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“Oh wow!” What an overreaction

Screen Shot 2014-11-27 at 16.11.39

Some quality facial expressions from both teams, but given the shite they had to peddle, can you blame them?

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 19.52.46 Screen Shot 2014-11-27 at 16.19.03 Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 19.51.15

This barbecue, who obviously had many stories to tell but no-one to hear them

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 19.59.10

When I thought this man had a cheeky yet ill-advised ponytail

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.02.49

But his shitty head was the least of this man’s worries, because James’s faux-pas was about to set in motion one of his worst performances from the whole series…

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.03.48 Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.04.03 Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.04.11

And when he lost the task, he took the news with his trademark class

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.05.55

Though Daniel came close to screwing his team over with his irritating ‘PASSION BRAND PASSION’ nonsense:


There’s always one, in’t there?

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.16.59

Can someone have a word with Solomon, please?


Alright Daniel, babes?

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.17.37 Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.17.45

I think Sanjay’s been reading my posts and has seen my jokes about his ‘good looks’. Sorry, mate. From now on, us Anglo Indians stick together (I’m assuming you’re Anglo, mate, name like Sood-Smith)

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.10.40

Great reaction shots from the on-lookers when Daniel and Felipe were bickering

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Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.27.56

This dude just carrying a cutie lamb around and making it look easy. But I wonder where he got that lamb, and if its mother knows it is gone…

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.28.13

Oh no…

This was Hannah's favourite moment, rightly so

This was Hannah’s favourite moment, rightly so

Mumford and Sons’ dads made their television debut

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 19.55.17

You know when you’re stuck for what to get the DTSFT girls for Christmas, and you’re just like:

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.04.55

Back in the boardroom, Daniel and Felipe’s bickering was filtered back to Lord Sugar, who wasn’t impressed. Felipe seemed so hurt by Daniel’s arsehole ways, I felt so sorry for him

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.33.38

Especially when he said this:

nice man

And Katie was so smug about Lord Sugar calling her ‘Mummy’. Kinky Geordie bitch.


And James finally came clean to his team about the real reason why they went with the tractors instead of the hot tubs as originally planned

derek instead of anthony

When James was laying into Roisin, she stood up herself so well – I feel, however, that from the look on Bianca’s face, things would have been different if he’d been facing the other way and disparaging her.

“Try me… fucking try me, son”

The winning team – obviously not James’s – were sent to a boxing session as their treat from Daddy Sugar. I must state clearly that exercise is NOT a treat, and I will be writing to the BBC to complain about this oversight.  But we finally got to see Mark and Daniel go at it… sort of

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 20.41.02

Oh well, maybe we’ll get to see them go at it properly another time. Maybe get them in some kind of abandoned quarry, shirtless and dirty, just grappling and… and…

Excuse me.


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