DTSFT Men’s Column #3 – Gay

This week, our question comes from Lewis in Hertfordshire, who asks:

“I’m finding myself attracted to men.  What can I do about this?”

Tricky question, there, Lewis.  To start things off, I must say that a few more details in your email would have been helpful, but it’s okay – I run every mail address that comes through with a query for the Men’s Column through a Facebook search to see if you’re good-looking and into the same things as I am, which is ultimately futile because every one of these is entirely fictional but that’s beside the point.  Your profile impressed me, Lewis, impressed me like a large, delicious chocolate cake impresses… well, me. I feel a connection between us, I really do, which is why I want you to seriously consider and heed my advice.

1281496546435_5482900I think you need to look at the situation from an outside point of you.  So you think you’re attracted to men – dude, that doesn’t mean you’re gay, it just means you’re in touch with your feminine side, and if your feminine side is attracted to men, that means your feminine side is straight, which means you must be straight.  So don’t sweat this whole ‘gay’ thing.  I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but I just think that with your blue eyes and blonde hair combo, and those cheek bones, and that muscular physique (I noticed from your Facebook photos that you spend a lot of time in the gym, and it shows, it really does), you would really not go down well with gay men.  As in you wouldn’t be popular with them.

Trying to discern your sexual preference can be a difficult thing, and really there’s no pressure and no need to rush things – experimentation can be a great thing.  I would advise, just for a starting point, perhaps pursuing a female companion, just in the interest of establishing whether or not a relationship with a female could work.  My suggestion is finding someone completely the opposite to you physically but similar to you in interests and tastes, because it will reinforce the notion that it isn’t what’s on the outside that counts, it’s what’s on the inside – namely the reproductive organs, outside on the men, inside on the women.  Inside, dude.  So I suppose the opposite to you would be…let’s see… a brown haired, brown eyed, fubsy looking homely girl.  I wonder where you could find someone like that…

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