The Apprentice, Episode 4 – DTSFT Roundup

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Yes folks, it’s that time of the week again where I ramble on about The Apprentice and post it on the internet for nobody to read. If you guys knew that I watched the episode as soon as it goes up on iPlayer in order to get some good screenshots… I’m sure it’d make no difference.

This week, the morons were set to a task of setting up a farm shop, which involved deciding what produce they were going to sell and then doing all that other business stuff that no-one REALLY cares about.  We just wanted to see the stuck-up ‘entrepreneurs’ getting muddy and struggling to milk cows, right? There was ever more picking on Jason – he needs to start sticking up for himself a little more, I think.  It’s not fair for them to keep singling out his weakness (which is his politeness and class, something that many of the others are lacking in) but he needs to man up a little bit and stand up for himself.  Surprise behaviour of the week though came from Neil and his shocking attitude toward his team – cutting them off and cutting them down, this man was abrasive throughout the episode and I know that he’s tussled for control in the tasks where he hasn’t been project manager, but his conduct tonight showed that he’s more of a dictator than anything else.  Luisa, however…. well, she’s all eyelashes and lipgloss, really, let’s be honest.  She’s got a bitchy way of talking to people, but can turn in a second into a flirty little nymph – the boys seem to be hip to it now though.

These tasks where they have to spend a lot of time in another world are always fun to watch – how many times do you reckon these lollipops in expensive suits have mucked in and actually done physical work like milking cows?  Although as ever, Alex stood out for me this week; he might have some dodgy eyebrows, but the man gets involved and gives every task all the enthusiasm he has.  Big respect for you, A-Dawg!

Anyhoo, let’s move onto the roundup, our favourite bits in no particular order:

“I don’t know what’s worse - getting woken up or getting woken up by Luisa”

“I don’t know what’s worse – getting woken up or getting woken up by Luisa”

When Kurt’s head became an elbow

When Kurt’s head became an elbow

The teams naming their shops…

Buffalocal

Buffalocal

Fruity Cow

Fruity Cow

Luisa’s arrogance throughout the entire task – which I assume will extend to the entire series. Luisa, you’re cruisin’ for a bruising’ – I’m sick of her!

Jordan’s bizarre boardroom behaviour before and after the results

Myles referring to Jason as a trickless pony – I mean, I love Jason but that was funny!

The moment I was convinced that Lord Sugar was going to scream “CAN YOU DIG IT?” and then all hell would break loose

The moment I was convinced that Lord Sugar was going to scream “CAN YOU DIG IT?” and then all hell would break loose

How Luisa and Chinny McForehead aren’t even bothering to hide their alliance, as shown by their matching accessories - bitches stick together until things falls apart, girls, remember that. I can’t wait until they’re forced to sell one another out.

How Luisa and Chinny McForehead aren’t even bothering to hide their alliance, as shown by their matching accessories – bitches stick together until things falls apart, girls, remember that. I can’t wait until they’re forced to sell one another out.

Uzma getting embarrassed at having to talk to PEOPLE on the STREETS!  “Blackberries, sir? Hehehe… this is not cool” Bless her.

Poor little Jason, in the role as a kitchen worker – like I said, I’m getting a bit tired of how rude the team members are towards him

Rebecca getting shut down in her request to be Project Manager – not just by pussy-whipped Jordan but MYLES.  You’re supposed to be a knight in shining, washboard-abs uh I mean armour.

Kurt looking ever closer to death

Kurt looking ever closer to death

Neil’s team hitting up a supermarket for apple-juice in the middle of a task centred around farm produce.

The fact that there is such a thing as an apple-juice specialist…

The dirty facial hair brought to the table by Neil and Kurt

Myles grabbing some sweet ass, giving it to Jordan reeeeal good

Myles grabbing some sweet ass, giving it to Jordan reeeeal good

Alex’s idea that the team should sell cheese on toast

This delightful find on Youtube:


The lip action from all the ladies on this task, some seriously ugly pouting!

Natalie mistaking a cow for a horse, then a dog… She will never live that moment down

The frolicking animals that didn’t give a damn about who Lord Sugar was or how much money he has – they’re having a great time and they know it

Jordan’s small-man syndrome getting the better of him again, whereby he was overcome with triumphant glee at winning the task again “GET IN!”

Luisa sulking because she got told by Lord Sugar that the team only won the task because of their hard work, and not hers

Luisa sulking because she got told by Lord Sugar that the team only won the task because of their hard work, and not hers

Jordan’s “I’m hitting that” face and Luisa’s “Oh a lady never tells, but I’m not a lady I’m a slut” face - I can’t even hide how much I dislike this girl.

Jordan’s “I’m hitting that” face and Luisa’s “Oh a lady never tells, but I’m not a lady I’m a slut” face – I can’t even hide how much I dislike this girl.

Various ducks, loving life - and rightly so

Various ducks, loving life – and rightly so

When I momentarily thought Myles had no trousers on and thanked every god I was aware of

When I momentarily thought Myles had no trousers on and thanked every god I was aware of

Jason repeatedly telling everyone that the apples are “gorrrrgeous” he basically purred it each time, posh accent and everything.

Alex’s lovely Welsh accent making everything sound like fun

Buffalocal not giving samples for the soup because it tastes disgusting…

The mannequin that we all secretly hoped (admit it) would come to life halfway through their ideas session, to scare the crap out of them

The mannequin that we all secretly hoped (admit it) would come to life halfway through their ideas session, to scare the crap out of them

An Uzma, moments before she tore out Neil's throat and DEGGY SMASHED

An Uzma, moments before she tore out Neil’s throat and DEGGY SMASHED

The rural Eastenders-titles rip-off

The rural Eastenders-titles rip-off

This lovely shot of the countryside and the sky

This lovely shot of the countryside and the sky

UZMA DEGGY CORN BANABAMANA? The woman was trying to spruce up the place with decoratively placed pieces of corn. Ridiculous.

Bad-ass leather jacket grandma and a man with a burger hat…

Bad-ass leather jacket grandma and a man with a burger hat…

Myles straight up grafting on this task, kudos to you man - it’s the kind of dedication that builds those sweet, sweet abs

Myles straight up grafting on this task, kudos to you man – it’s the kind of dedication that builds those sweet, sweet abs

The final montage of the teams selling their produce, when I was convinced that they’d burst out into “Who Will Buy This Wonderful Morning” from Oliver Twist

The look from Lord Sugar that said “If your team loses, Jordan, you’re so out on your arse”

Jordan’s stupid face

Jordan’s stupid face

Kurt’s constant struggle with staying awake. He needs a square meal and a good sleep

Kurt’s constant struggle with staying awake. He needs a square meal and a good sleep

As seen in this picture, when he hears the other team are getting a four-course, slap up meal as a prize.

As seen in this picture, when he hears the other team are getting a four-course, slap up meal as a prize.

Next week episode sees the remaining contestants doing one of those tasks where they have to travel around and get all the items from a list at the best price.  The twist is that they’re taking the task to Dubai – good luck flirting your way through the tasks there, Luisa.

Let us know what you thought of this episode, and stay tuned for the next episode and roundup – which will be on TUESDAY not Wednesday!

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