The Apprentice, Episode 3 – DTSFT Roundup

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This week’s task on The Apprentice saw the teams fighting for their places by designing an innovative flat-pack product.  Cue lots of stupid ideas and bickering between those on the teams who considered themselves to be ‘designers’ or ‘innovators’.  Everyone seems to think they’ve got the best idea at times like this, and will readily suggest something utterly stupid without considering what they’re actually saying.  Like Kurt’s idea of a seat with a compartment underneath for recycling waste materials.  I can totally see every house having one of those, Kurt – because they already do.  It’s called a toilet.

We had the boys team trying to sell their table-that-turns-into-a-chair, which was actually a decent idea and well executed (although the function of it was akin to a deckchair), while the girls… well, the girls tried to sell a box.  Oh no, excuse me, it was a multifunctional table cube thing.  It could hold drinks, and then if you change the top it becomes a surface for a laptop, and then you could change it again and put something else on there – you know, basically the same thing that a table accomplishes as its basic function, but this time you have to mess about changing things around.  You know, because it’s multifunctional.  I was pleased to see the boys team getting on much better in this episode, because when the boys argue there’s more aggression, unlike the hollow, shallow bitchiness of the girls.

Here’s the DTSFT roundup for episode 3:

Luisa, Alex and Natalie jumping up like three utter wankers when the phone rang, screaming and shouting like children…

Luisa, Alex and Natalie jumping up like three utter wankers when the phone rang, screaming and shouting like children…

…And the look on Rebecca’s face that said what we’re all thinking

…And the look on Rebecca’s face that said what we’re all thinking

The screaming that ensued from the phone call.  I can’t stress how much screaming there was.  I almost turned the TV off.

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This cheeky glimpse of life with Myles

The welcome return of the lucky waving cat

The welcome return of the lucky waving cat

When the set resembled the cube prison from Cabin in Woods…

When the set resembled the cube prison from Cabin in Woods…

...complete with Merman.

…complete with Merman.

The girls smashing the make-up budget for the third week in a row

The conference room that looked more like the waiting area for a children’s dentist.

The conference room that looked more like the waiting area for a children’s dentist.

Kurt’s ridiculous idea of the recycling chair, described by Nick as “particularly horrible’

Kurt's drawing of his SHIT idea

Kurt’s drawing of his SHIT idea

Karren Brady’s face as she has to hold her tongue while she desperately wants to interject and tell the girls to reel it back.

The realisation that they must not ever watch the television, considering its position

The realisation that they must not ever watch the television, considering its position

The girl in the car agreeing that the cube is a bad idea… even though she thought of it.

The girl in the car agreeing that the cube is a bad idea… even though she thought of it.

How I spent basically the entire episode trying to figure out how the blonde one managed to be in two places at once, before realising at the boardroom that she is actually two separate people.

Alex’s thigh-gap – thinspo alert!

I like my men meaty, Jason, eat some pasta damn you.

I like my men meaty, Jason, eat some pasta damn you.

“Not even Jordan could fit there.” … “Not you, Jordan, somebody average size.”

UZMA DEGGY BIN DESIGN MA

Francesca nailing the way the task has spiralled out of their control: “Considering it was a desk one minute with an iPad easel and now it’s a tray and seat in a box”

Oh Jason

Oh Jason

My annoyance at the two blonde girls picking to do the same hairstyle on the same day.

My annoyance at the two blonde girls picking to do the same hairstyle on the same day.

Nick playing with the chair (he reminds me of my dad!)

The girls wondering whether they could sell their product for £75 looking like this

The girls wondering whether they could sell their product for £75 looking like this

Weirdo Neil and his ‘salesgasm’ technique – honey, any woman who knows that about you now will no doubt reel out 3 yes’s just to get that shit over with.

Jordan talking things fitting in “Clickety boo” while this positioning is going on.

Jordan talking about things fitting in “Clickety boo” while this positioning is going on.

How I would rather look at whatever that grey thing in the background is than this girls’ weird face

How I would rather look at whatever that grey thing in the background is than this girl’s weird face

 

This woman’s futuristic look

This woman’s futuristic look

Nick’s supportive body language at the start of the boys’ pitch….

Nick’s supportive body language at the start of the boys’ pitch….

...and his facial expressions at the end of it.

…and his facial expressions at the end of it.

People repeatedly referring to ‘market research’, sounding like Margaret Research (just me? Okay)

Alex dipping’ it low and picking’ it up slow for the Argos lads.

The moment that I thought Jason and Zeeshaan were holding hands

The moment that I thought Jason and Zeeshaan were holding hands

This woman trying so hard not to laugh at the girls' terrible idea

This woman trying so hard not to laugh at the girls’ terrible idea

And when this woman’s eyes disappeared for about 5 seconds, no lie

And when this woman’s eyes disappeared for about 5 seconds, no lie

The pure derision with which the boys viewed the girls’ product.

Lord Sugar standing next to a normal sized chair at ground level

Lord Sugar standing next to a normal sized chair at ground level

And yet again, sad, exotic Sophia.

Even sadder than usual

Even sadder than usual

This week was kind of lacking with the big dramatic arguments that we’re used to from The Apprentice, but it did serve up some fun moments.  Next week’s episode proves to be a better one, with the teams opening up shops with fresh farm produce.  Expect lots of shots of the girls getting mucky and the boys picking up heavy things.  Something for everyone, eh?

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