Superhero Saturday: Agent Coulson

Agent Coulson: Cucumber Man. As in - 'cool as a'.

Agent Coulson: Cucumber Man. As in – ‘cool as a’.

Or: Why I Think Agent Coulson Should Stay Dead by thatmissdeen

Hear me out. I think I’d better start this off with a disclaimer – I LOVE PHIL COULSON. Both he and Clark Gregg’s portrayal of him have been wonderful. The Marvel short A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Thor’s Hammer is a pretty accurate definition of the acronym BAMF, and if I ever met Gregg in person – I’d probably get arrested. For reasons.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to add that you’ll understand this post better if you’ve seen The Avengers – the most overrated film of 2012, apparently.

Phil Coulson, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and Captain America fanboy is, as far as I’m concerned, dead. He was stabbed through the chest by Asgardian god Loki – the baddest bitch in the game. It was one of the most gasp-inducing moments of The Avengers and was what spurred our heroes on to save the world. They did. They avenged Phil and everything was schwarma and rainbows.

Then I heard Coulson will be fronting the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series. Something about a ‘life model decoy’ and the Coulsonlives hashtag. Clark Gregg tweeted some things. Then I was upset.

His first name is Agent: A badass - but a dead badass

His first name is Agent: A badass – but a dead badass

To be blunt the whole thing smacks of a cop out. One of the things I like about Joss Whedon is that he isn’t afraid to kill off his characters. So slaughtering Coulson was a really good move. Shocking, but good. So why bring him back?

Alright, Clark Gregg kicks-ass. He does. Which meant that Coulson was also amazeballs (sorry Elijah Wood), and having him die the way he did in Avengers, with that badass parting shot towards Loki. It was a perfect death. Unexpected and BRAVE and gave the heroes a purpose.

Now Coulson’s back. Somehow, certain theories suggest, someone or something that looked like Coulson was put in place when the fatal wounding by the glo-stick of destiny happened, so that the real Phil didn’t actually die.

No, he doesn't.

No, he doesn’t.

You know when kids are play-fighting, and then Child A says ‘I’m gonna shoot you with my laser gun’ and then Child B says ‘No because I’ve got a special shield that blocks laser guns’, and then Child A whines ‘Yeah but my gun has a special button that breaks through shields that block laser guns’? This is similar in the sense that Loki is going ‘Ha! I stabbed you!’ and Marvel are all ‘Yeah but we have a life model decoy that can’t get killed by Asgardian sticks’ and Loki is all ‘No fair you can’t sit next to me at lunch anymore’.

This is not me cussing Agent Coulson, because he really does rule, but I reckon resurrecting him after such a brilliant exit takes the shine off.

I sincerely hope that the S.H.I.E.L.D. show is being set pre-Avengers to avoid the frankly ridiculous Child A/Child B scenario I described earlier.

Additionally, I realise I might just be whistling in the wind, and in the wonderful world of comic books, no one ever really stays dead; so really I shouldn’t be too surprised.

Saw This And Thought It Was Cute

Saw This And Thought It Was Cute

I have now hired a SWAT team to guard my home like hawks because I am bound to get some abuse for this *eyes dart back and forth between other DTSFT members*.

@thatmissdeen

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4 thoughts on “Superhero Saturday: Agent Coulson

  1. Pingback: Superhero Saturday – Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D | Damn, That's Some Fine Tailoring

  2. Pingback: Marvel Agents of SHIELD: Mediocrity Isn’t A Superpower | Vicarious Existence

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