This had to happen. Alrighty – in this post, the ladies of DFTST are going to admit to some of our guilty pleasures – get ready for some serious cheese….
Jessica Simpson – Public Affair
The video has everything – celebrity cameos, roller skating, and a story! Okay, well, not so much a story as the classic music video bullshit representation of a screwed up relationship. This irritating song is so annoyingly catchy, when it first came out it made me want to stab myself in the ear just to get it out of my brain, but I knew that even in death this song would haunt me. I can’t remember exactly when it stopped being acceptable for pop videos to include a little bit at the beginning, middle or end where the singer does a little bit of terrible acting, but I have a feeling that the little skit at the beginning of this video had something to do with its demise. Then there’s the appearance of Andy “For the love of god, I need work, I’ll do anything, literally anything, just look at me, I’m begging you” Dick. I reckon the person responsible for that decision has never worked again. Factor in the idea that the male lead in the video is meant to resemble John Mayer – Jessica Simpson’s ex-boyfriend – and the poorly executed sample of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, this whole song should anger me to the core, TO THE CORE, DAMN YOU.
But there’s no denying that Jessica Simpson can actually hold a tune compared to many of today’s “singers”, and I kind of like her girly vocals even though she doesn’t get to showcase her whole range on this track. And while she’s no Meryl Streep, she’s actually not terrible in this video and seems to have a good sense of humour, certainly able to laugh at herself. Plus there’s the added unintentional hilarity of Applegate and Longoria trying to play like they ain’t got 20 years on Simpson and Milian. So here it is, Public Affair. Don’t judge me.
Leon Jackson – Creative
Before I start, for those of you asking “Leon who?”, let me fill you in:
Leon Jackson, age 23, was the winner of everyone’s favourite
scam talent show scam , the X Factor, in 2007. He then went on to get a Christmas number one in the same year with karaoke favourite ‘When You Believe’, and released his first album, ‘Right Now’, in 2008.
Unfortunately he was dropped by his record label in 2009, and even though there was talk of a second album, he has now vanished into the X Factor contestant black hole to join Steve Brookstein and Same Difference.
Since Mr. Jackson is M.I.A., all we have left of him is his first original single, and personally, I absolutely love it. The lyrics are a bit corny (‘and the earth/and the moon/and the stars are all aligned’), repetitive (‘and like the tune/in this song/we’ll go on/love is never-ending/round/and around/in my head/like a never-ending song’) and even dodgy (‘your body’s so enticing’, ‘so baby hit that switch/let’s see what we’re doing/any which/way you wanna do it’), but despite the poor lyrical skillz, the music is toe-tappingly upbeat and jazzy, and his smooth and playful vocals go perfectly with it. And no matter where I am, it never fails to get me dancing.
Yes, Leon Jackson’s career may be long gone, but this song will live on and on, like a tune, in a never-ending song, going round, in my head, love is never-ending, on, on and on, on and on, on and on DAMMIT!
Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe
I might actually get thrown off DTSFT for this. I know it’s a pretty modern one but it’s the first guilty pleasure that came to mind. As music goes, I’m pretty commercial. Just because this is where I find new music. If people choose to suggest more off-the-beaten-track bands/singers I’m all for it and will listen but, generally speaking, it’s music channels and radio stations. (Having said that my favourite artists are Rooney and Aimee Mann who never play on UK radio and heard via The O.C. and Buffy the Vampire Slayer respectively.) But back to my guilty pleasure – Carly Rae Jepsen.
I know it’s a pretty horrible song. It’s super cheesy, really repetitive, and certain lyrics really annoy me. (Particularly “and all the other boys/try to chase me” – cocky much?) However, every time I hear the song I end up singing along and it was on all the time (even in Sicily) so it “infects” your psyche.
The music video is much worse though. Much worse. The “hot” guy? It’s a kind of trashy situation – but I guess no worse than scantily clad gyrating women in music videos. Her car-washing skills? Cringe-worthy. Her day dream. There are no words. She has only just met him, runs off to change and performs a song with her readily waiting band? Really annoys me. And the ending granted a smirk at first viewing. A mild smirk. No such luck after that. (I didn’t intentionally watch the video – it was on ALL THE TIME.)
And after that glowing “review” of the video here it is:
PJ and Duncan – Krazy Katz
I’ve taken some time out of conspiring against Sophia to get her tossed out of DTSFT for her guilty pleasure song choice (ain’t no forgiving that tripe, hun) to reveal my choice.
PJ and Duncan, for those who don’t know, were Ant and Dec before they were
Simon Cowell’s bitches Ant and Dec and they had quite the music career after leaving Byker Grove.
Yeah, they had Let’s Get Ready To Rumble and Stepping Stone and Shout, but this one is the funkiest one for me.
First off look at how’s it’s spelt for crying out loud! There’s Ks instead of Cs! There’s a Z at the end instead of an S! This brazen disregard for spelling is a sure sign of a good track even before you’ve pressed play.
Secondly, the song makes no sense. Who are these so-called Krazy Katz and why are they raising their hats to “the man”? A political satire of sorts? Or just another word for having a good time? Probably the latter. PJ and Duncan were totally cray-cray party animals that could make Rick Ross look like Mary Berry.
Thirdly, the lyrics. So lame they’re brilliant. One of the lines of the rap actually goes “Knick-knack-paddy-whack”. Another goes “toot toot in your sharp suit, suit” and the coup de grace “I’m not sure who’s-a knocking at my door”. THEY USE THE WORD “WHO’S-A”. WHAT.
I’m getting way too excited. You’d better just watch the video (SPOILER: Dec likes winding his hips)