So our first post on Films We Really Shouldn’t Love got a really good response so we said we would do a follow up and I was inspired to start:
After my recent trip to Sicily I was reminded of this film that I used to love a lot more than I should. At least it’s not The Godfather Part 3. Right? Well…I guess.
When I went to see this film (that’s right, I went to the cinema especially to see this film) it was for three reasons: 1) I liked the American Pie films, 2) The trailer looked pretty funny (I think) and 3) Michelle Trachtenberg is in. The first two reasons need no explanation but the Michelle Trachtenberg thing definitely does. I’ve already previously mentioned that I’m a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan and Trachtenberg was in the series. I did not in any way love her in the series but this film role was such a distance from her character (careful to avoid spoilers here!) in Buffy that I was intrigued. (I have since fallen in love with her in Gossip Girl. She is one of the best things about that show.)
Now I’ve established why I went to see the film. Then I was addicted. One song gets stuck in your head and is lip-synced by a shaved head, tattooed Matt Damon:
Then, there’s the paper-thin plot which is held up through amazing little comedy scenes that you constantly associate with European countries. (And yes, England is full of football hooligans headed by Vinnie Jones. Of course.) France – Robot fight. Italy – creepy pervy Italian man. Netherlands – hash brownies and dominatrixes. Eastern Europe – Absinthe. Germany – child Nazi supporter. All stereotypical (except the robot fight in Paris) but…actually pretty funny.
But here is the scene that I constantly thought of when in Italy. Enjoy!
High School Musical “Trilogy” (2006 – 2008)
I think I’m going to get kicked off the DTSFT team for this one.
I write “trilogy” because I usually associate that word with films that are epic, films that are legendary, films that have made their mark in history, like the Dollars Trilogy, Toy Story, Christopher Nolan’s Batman and The Lord of the Rings (my favourite films ever). High School Musical is none of these.
But it doesn’t matter. The whole thing may be silly and predictable, but once you get past that there is a positive message, loveable characters (like champion hat-wearer and hip-shaker Ryan Evans) and a lot of great songs. And Zac Efron. I love me some Zac Efron.
I didn’t exactly go merchandise crazy, but I did buy all of the DVDs (including the ‘Dance Along edition’ of High School Musical 2) and I was given a poster for Christmas. I even went to see High School Musical 3: Senior Year at the cinema – and paid for it. And I ain’t ashamed. But I am ashamed that I’m not ashamed.
Here are three of my favourite musical numbers from the “trilogy”:
The Three Stooges – 2012
Now hear me out. When I went to see this film I fully expected it to be the lame cash-cow that it obviously is. What surprised me was that it was a funny lame cash-cow. Think of it as an actual lame cow that secretes dollar bills when you milk it, but it’s really quite good at telling jokes.
The Three Stooges – based on a comedy act that was around before I was a twinkle in my mother’s eye (or a pain in her arse – not sure which) – didn’t require much acting from anyone involved. The gags are basic at best (someone farts in a sinking car, bubbles break the surface, everyone puts on their best “eww gross, flatulence!” face), and the schmoopy heartfelt moments were as sickening as the butterscotch in a TGI Fridays desert; but what saved this film was the slapstick.
It was very well executed by the three leads Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopoulos and trumped all of the verbal wisecracks. The timing of their over-exaggerated physical fights was perfectly in-sync – which is probably just as well, because if it wasn’t then this film would feature in post titled Films That Are Balls.
Larry David’s ratchet-voiced nun Sister Mary provided a laugh for the adults, while the inclusion of the Jersey Shore collective was a nice touch and confirmed that reality TV stars should take up MMA before even considering going into acting.
And the best joke of the film?
“Those three idiots crashed the party!”
“The Kardashian girls?”
Boom. Watch the trailer and I defy you not to at least smirk.
The Room (2003)
Have you ever seen this film? There’s no in-between with this one, no “oh I’ve seen some of it” or “erm, I can’t remember”, because with this film there is no such thing as doing things by halves.
The Room, a film by the living genius Tommy Wiseau is one of those rare gems that come along once in a blue moon and if you’re lucky enough to encounter it, well it’s basically like seeing God – if God is a man with a simultaneously wrinkly and smooth face, and black hair so luxurious that it would make Cher throw out her whole collection of wigs.
Remember I told you about Mystery Science Theatre 3000? Well, this film is so bad that people actually meet up to heckle it in the style of the MST3K boys. The story (sort of, you try following this pile of crap) is essentially that Lisa, the beautiful and ‘near perfect’ partner of the lovely and loyal Johnny has grown bored of their relationship and decides to embark on an affair with Johnny’s best friend, while throwing around some accusations of domestic abuse and lies about being pregnant. She eventually decides to shove her affair with Mark in Johnny’s face in his own damn house, with TRAGIC RESULTS!
You know the kind of crappy acting that only children are capable of? You know what I’m talking about – nativity plays and school productions, you sit there trying to block out the terrible performances while also trying to appear loving and supportive because they’re looking out into the audience to see you smile and wave. Well the great thing about this is that it’s a film, and they can’t see you cringing and laughing at their piss poor performances – and even if they could, they’re adults so it doesn’t even matter!
Plot-lines drift in and out, as do characters – ideas and people are heard of and then never seen again. Arguably the most famous example from the film is when Lisa’s mother announces to her over a cup of tea: “I got the results of the test back, and I definitely have breast cancer”. Oh my god, you think, this film just got serious. Naaaaah don’t worry about it – this storyline is never mentioned ever again throughout the film. If that plot line was a delicious lamb shank and its appearance in the film was it being put in the oven, by the end of the film you would smell smoke and have to evacuate your house, only for the fireman to tell you with a tear in his eye “I’m sorry, ma’am, the shank… it didn’t make it” and present you with the charred remains of the plot line – sorry, delicious lamb shank – that you just plain forgot about because of the complexities of the rest of the film.
Here’s two videos from youtube with some of the best bits from the film. The only problem is, the best bits of the film are every single second of it. You need to experience this film. It’s so, so bad.