Oh you have an older sister? I don’t care, there’s nothing here for you. No wait though, stay for this post anyway. Today is my brother’s birthday, so I figured I’d write a little post about why it’s so awesome to have an older bro. Awwwww here it goes!
1. They have cool stuff
The other day, my brother posted this picture on his twitter:
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my brother works for Forbidden Planet, but he sure has accumulated some weird things over the years – T-shirts, gadgets, figurines. We come from a family that struggle to throw things away; not to the extent of keeping newspapers and not washing up and generally living in a shit-hole, but all of us are guilty of buying things and then not wanting to throw them out or get rid of them in case we need them, or even just because we can’t stop collecting crap. This results in an almost monthly event of us having clear-outs. My clear-out routine usually ends up with me bagging up clothes and giving them to a charity shop or selling them on eBay, and boxing up books only to realise I simply can’t bear to get ride of them and putting them back on the shelf.
It’s slightly different with my brother.
Boxes, bags, piles – full of memorabilia, merchandise, things that genuinely would fetch a decent amount of money on eBay or a car boot sale. But there’s always a story or a connection behind each one. And in addition to this, I think that if you’re committed to having a complete collection of something and you follow it through, there’s something kind of admiral about that. If I had the money and the inclination, I would collect all the Stephen King titles with a certain cover, so that I have a proper collection that would look awesome on my bookshelf. Instead, I’ve opted for the cheapest one, or the one on offer, or the one available NOW – my brother has waited and saved up for things to make proper sets. That shit takes patience.
Also, when he buys the miniature LEGO things, he gives me the duplicates of the ones he already has, which result in things like this:
2. They are protective
Now, I’m not someone who goes out very often, in fact it’s a rare occasion to find me anywhere other than my bedroom on a Friday night. But on the handful of times that I have ventured out into a pub or a club, it’s normally been with my brother and his group of friends, probably after one of his band’s gigs or for a birthday. We don’t live in a particularly safe area, and my brother refuses to let me go home by myself, even though if I died he would probably get my bedroom which is really big and sort of has its own bathroom. Thanks bro!
3. Private jokes
I have private jokes with all my friends. I think that if I didn’t crack jokes with most of my friends, they would realise how little substance there actually is to me, but for now it works. But I don’t think anything comes close to the fun my brother and I have acting like complete idiots. We’re method actors. Some of these times include:
- Dressing in identical outfits to confuse my nan when we were both a similar height – standard Snickers T-shirt and jeans. I don’t know what happened at that party, because all I can remember is laughing the whole time at how hilarious we were
- Somehow making the Mayoral election vote-counting session feel like fun
- Recurring jokes about traveling salesmen buying all our valuables
- Doing the vote-count for the general election and making sure that we were facing the camera for ever single photo that was taken by the press of the entire hall, and then looking in the paper the next day to see that the pictures of our hall only showed the side of the room that we weren’t on – we did it, bro, we fucking did it.
- Indian accents – because we can get away with it, and you can’t.
- Somehow successfully arranging ‘Sunday Curry’ – because fuck your roast dinner, mum (just kidding, love you)
4. They know shit
Now, my brother is a geek. And I don’t mean in this “oh my god, I like the comic books that are made into films and also I sometimes play computer games because being a geek is cool now” kind of geek. This is a boy who, admittedly, plays computer games and reads comics, but he fucking READS comics, people. Twice in the past week we’ve had discussions about comics, and by discussions I obviously mean that I’ve made a comment that has given him cause to correct my ignorance, and the amount of knowledge he has about the different ‘universes’ and story lines and character histories from comics and graphic novels etc blows my tiny, pathetic mind. Whenever a superhero comic-book film adaptation comes out, I have to admit that I ask his opinion before telling him mine, because he normally tells me something that makes me rethink how I’ve watched the film.
Like with The Dark Knight Rises (spoiler alert coming, and if you haven’t watched it by now, you shouldn’t even be allowed on the internet, really), I went to see that with my brother and bless him, he warned me about what was coming up when Bane was about to break Batman’s back. On the drive home, I mentioned that I thought it was a bit graphic for a 12A film, to which he casually replied “Yeah but they had to have that in the film, he’s The Man Who Broke The Bat”. Like, duh, everyone knows that… And don’t get him started on X-Men: First Class. You don’t want to hear his wrath on that subject.
On top of that, he’s not just comic-book-computer-game smart. My brother is well acquainted with my two arch-nemeses… maths and science *shudder*. I am famously ignorant when it comes to science in particularly, maths not so much – I just don’t enjoy it the way I used to in middle school. I say some pretty stupid shit when it comes to science because I genuinely just don’t care, but thankfully my brother is often on hand to correct and if necessary humiliate me into learning the correct answer.
But with all of this, my brother isn’t uncool. He’s not some hipster douchebag, he’s just himself and that’s what makes him really fucking cool.
5. Blood is thicker than water
And custard is thicker than blood, but my brother doesn’t like custard. Coincidence?
But my point is that I’ve got one brother and he’s super awesome, and though sometimes we fight as if we intend to kill one another (WITH OUR WORDS) we always end up being friends again, and that’s what makes us an awesome sibling team.
Happy birthday George!